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Literature Text
Death has come
No one to save you
You feel cold and numb
Just before the warmth
Some say before death
Your enlightened for a moment
With knowledge of the world
To know your true existance
For someone to commit suicide
Hell is supposely like dying
Over and over continuously
Taking the same steps every hour
Of the hour on the day
Forever and eternally
But the first time
Is harder than the second
or the third
A thousand deaths
compared to one
Is it the regret?
Is it the pain?
Or is it the fact that
Your losing your sanity
A little bit each time
You shove the blade
Into your tender flesh
Tilt your head back
And swallow those pills
Wow, what a rush.
But on the other hand
I hear heaven is pretty
Now what do I do?
Can't go back ya know
Better rethink your actions
Because at least
Unlike going into the unknown
You know what to expect
In this god forsaken world
No one to save you
You feel cold and numb
Just before the warmth
Some say before death
Your enlightened for a moment
With knowledge of the world
To know your true existance
For someone to commit suicide
Hell is supposely like dying
Over and over continuously
Taking the same steps every hour
Of the hour on the day
Forever and eternally
But the first time
Is harder than the second
or the third
A thousand deaths
compared to one
Is it the regret?
Is it the pain?
Or is it the fact that
Your losing your sanity
A little bit each time
You shove the blade
Into your tender flesh
Tilt your head back
And swallow those pills
Wow, what a rush.
But on the other hand
I hear heaven is pretty
Now what do I do?
Can't go back ya know
Better rethink your actions
Because at least
Unlike going into the unknown
You know what to expect
In this god forsaken world
I tried a shorter.. well. each line is shorter.. I tried to get the syllibles to match. but.. its not easy. lol. Hmm. so, a few lines are longer than the next.. but.. the flow of it is well. slow rather than fast. you have to actually.. think about this as you read it. Imagine it.. invision it with each new line as you go down.
I guess you can kinda tell what I was thinking when I wrote this. I don't need pity. I need criticsm. but.. uh. be nice about it! lol
I guess you can kinda tell what I was thinking when I wrote this. I don't need pity. I need criticsm. but.. uh. be nice about it! lol
© 2002 - 2024 aristocrat
Comments1
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hehehe 
well, you didn't HAVE to use my suggestion, but I am honored.
It might seem tough at first but after awhile it just becomes second nature. Keep trying... I'm sure you will get it.
Some good visualization here. This is the kind of writing that is going to have a different meaning to everyone who reads it. That keeps it interesting
well, you didn't HAVE to use my suggestion, but I am honored.It might seem tough at first but after awhile it just becomes second nature. Keep trying... I'm sure you will get it.
Some good visualization here. This is the kind of writing that is going to have a different meaning to everyone who reads it. That keeps it interesting